Advance Praise for Emotional Labor: Why A Woman’s Work is Never Done and What to Do About It
Regina Lark, in collaboration with Judith Kolberg, has accomplished the rare feat of engaging the critical contemporary yet under-discussed issue of emotional labor while simultaneously providing a practical guide for personal improvement and offering rich feminist analysis, all in an accessible book. Emotional Labor: Why A Woman’s Work is Never Done and What to Do About It complements Arlie Hochschild’s analysis of the managed heart in the workplace but with the added emphasis on how we can diminish the burden. Loaded with relatable examples, the writing style is so engaging and entertaining that the reader will hardly notice the significant intellectual foundation on which this book stands. If you are exhausted, and you can’t put your finger on why, this book might be for you.
— Maurice Hamington, M.B.A., Ph.D., Professor of Philosophy, Portland State University, Affiliate Faculty in Women, Gender, and Sexuality Studies
In her new book, Emotional Labor: Why A Woman’s Work is Never Done and What to Do About It, Regina Lark has taKen the challenge of “decluttering,” about which she is already a beloved expert, to a new level. I found the concept of “emotional labor” an incredibly useful concept, helping me to understand what cluttered my mind as well as my closet. Lark uses her background in Women’s Studies to help women understand the lingering weight of traditionally female homemaking obligations in lives in which we thought we had gotten beyond all that. Thank you Regina!
— Ellen DuBois, Distinguished Research Professor, History and Women’s Studies, UCLA
What a delight to be able to read a validating book that describes from an historical and emotional perspective, the mental and physical tasks that create personal and cultural expectations of women. Regina Lark not only defines the problem but gives unique and active suggestions and solutions that helps support a woman’s sense of self.
— Esther Hess, PhD, Executive Director. Center for the Developing Mind.
Regina Lark ‘gets it’ when it comes to so-called, ‘women’s work.’ With her background and women’s history, and her current life as an educator, professional organizer and troublemaker, she expertly answers the question, “why women?!?”
— Amy Siskind, Author of “The List: and Activist
Lark and Kolberg are uniquely qualified to help us shift our perspectives about the role of women in today’s world. Collectively they have observed and supported thousands of women struggling to do it all…and do it all well. Emotional Labor helps us to hone in on what’s really important in life. It’s a must read for women of all ages.
— Ellen Faye, PCC, CPLC, CPO® Certified Productivity Leadership Coach Past President – National Association of Productivity and Organizing Professionals
Oftentimes in relationships I shy away from speaking up about the event, the “thing,” the life change that is either going to happen or might happen. I also realize these life events must be talked through with my partner or I will bear the weight emotionally by keeping those thoughts and emotions inside (which I should communicate) and possibly being put in a situation where I am burdened with the responsibility of said life event. I love how Dr. Regina Lark gives us all permission to discuss the Emotional Labor Lifecycle and lays up the discussion with questions we can ask ourselves and our partner as each lifecycle phase comes up. These discussion points, this permission and these tools are invaluable to having a healthy, happy, communicative, burden-light relationship as I move through life.
— LeiLani E. Quiray, Founder and CEO of be the change HR
Regina Lark had me at the title. Emotional Labor brings so many possibilities to mind. The historical, social, and scientific threads she weaves together provide an expanded perspective of the evolving norms and practices that determine 21st century ‘women’s work’. Regina’s wit and wisdom encourages multigenerational readers to find common ground and share provocative conversations.
— Susan G. Schwartz, Executive, Mother, Author, and Philanthropist
Regina Lark’s book will be a cornerstone in the new language we use around a woman’s work, which by the way, is never done. It gives light to the true toil faced by women and the unpaid, unappreciated things we do to keep it all together and the world spinning.
— Natalie Elisha Gold, Esq. Celebrity wealth attorney, mommy 2x, 5x, bestselling author and CEO of Goldberg LLP
Dr. Lark delves deep into the reality of a situation that has existed for centuries. The emotional labor that we as women carry on a daily basis. Our society as a whole has been programmed to believe that there is such a thing as “woman’s work”. That concept places all or most of the responsibility of caring for the children, our homes, our husbands, extended family etc., on the woman. Even as a mom, wife, and entrepreneur I still bear the bulk of the emotional stress that goes into keeping my family running smoothly. This book can help us to adopt a partnering mindset to change the family dynamic that we so desperately need!
— Michaele Tocco Professional Organizer
This book is for any woman who has felt the exhausting weight of relentless emotional labor and doesn’t know how to break free. While I have read many books and articles about this issue, none seem to provide any solutions. This book does. I will be recommending it to both my clients and my friends and family.
— Dr. Danielle Schlichter, Clinical Psychologist
This is a must-have book for every woman who is tired of being tired. Dr. Regina Lark not only provides valuable insight on emotional labor, she gives practical and applicable suggestions that support women to advocate for themselves and frees them up to finally have more joy, fulfillment and fun in life.
— Natalie Barron, Executive Leadership Coach
Emotional labor is an invisible burden carried by every woman I work with as a productivity and personal development professional serving clients around the world. As such, it is one of the most important yet unaddressed issues of our age. And there are few more qualified to expand the awareness and understanding of this timely issue than Dr. Regina Lark, as this powerfully written book attests. Whether you are a therapist, coach or consultant who works with women, or a woman who is subject to the daily mental and emotional toll of emotional labor, I urge you to read this book.
— Alan P Brown, #1 Best Selling Author of “Zen and the Art of Productivity”
Since her doctoral study of Japanese women married to US servicemen, Dr. Lark has been focused on the issues of womanhood. In her latest book she allows us to see the normally unnoticed, unpaid, unappreciated and continuous work that women do everyday. There are many activities that are hidden in plain sight. Dr. Lark brings light and sight to an area of women’s lives that needs to be recognized and appreciated. There will be a lot of “discoveries” to readers of this important book.
— David C Aaronson, Owner & Managing Director of Digital Inbound, Member of Provisors & Group Leader
I have been waiting for Regina to write this book. Not just because of the huge validation and benefit it will bring to you, the reader; but because her words are shaping the conversation around the unnoticed and undervalued work women do at home – beyond their paid positions in the job market. Stop laboring and begin reading this book as soon as possible. You will appreciate yourself (and Regina) for having done so.
— Dorothy Breininger, Organizing Expert on the TV Show Hoarders
I consider myself a smart, professional, ‘liberated’ woman. I was in a marriage where we both did a great deal of the work required to take care of our family. That being said, it makes me sad to say that the insight this book provides rings true, even to me. Inequality rears its ugly head in so many insidious ways, and this is one. Regina Lark hit upon an element of our societal norms that is tightly woven into the fabric of life as we know it. I believe I was a very good example to my children in demonstrating how a woman can be successful, and how a husband and wife can equally manage a household, but there is no question that I was in charge of the “f—ing ketchup” and so many other things. I am going to gift this book to my kids and their partners, and let them know this is required reading! Brava on this insightful book, and thank you!
— I.R., Business Owner, Entrepreneur, and Mom
How many of us women are still trying to be everything to everyone? How many of us, although our husbands help, carry not only the laundry load but the emotional load for the household? When the kids get sad or upset, who do they need? Who gets pulled out of the important board meeting? Yes. I am woman, hear me roar, as the Helen Reddy song goes… Hear me roar, hear me conquer, but also see me continue to carry more and more of the emotional household load because, well, we are more equipped to do it, right? Many of my clients are struggling with health issues because the load has gotten too heavy. This is where Regina Lark knocks it out of the park for us! She is swooping in like Wonder Woman to save the day and save our sanity with this book because it’s about time we do something about work that never seems to end! The 60’s liberated us but at the same time, it incarcerated us into prisons of mental chaos. It’s time to break out of those prisons ladies! Regina takes us on a journey from understanding to action. It’s time. Put down the pills and the alcohol and read this book!
— Carol Marzouk, Executive Lion Tamer® and founder/ principal of Leadership ‘N’ Soul
Dr. Regina Lark is an amazing professional who writes with thoughtfulness and care. She drills down to the root cause of challenges and gives compelling tools and much needed advice for the over extended woman.
— Dr. Gena Davis Psy.D., MBA, BCC, CCP Organizational Psychologist & Executive Coach
This is an important and timely book. Regina Lark uses the power of stories to help us create a new way of operating in the world. As I read this incredibly insightful book, I recognized myself in these pages, and it was the first time I realized how much emotional labor I was carrying – always in the back of my mind and on my shoulders, weighing me down, just a little, over and over. This book gives us a window into how to live differently, and for me, now that I see how I’ve been working constantly without realizing it, I’m starting to change. Freedom for all of us lives in these pages, and I’m so grateful to Regina for sharing her wisdom, tools and stories with us.
— Tina Quinn Life & Leadership Coach
I participated in Regina’s focus group wherein we discussed the true and consequential impact of emotional labor on women’s lives. I realized that many women are willing to suffer in silence even when the weight of their household emotional labor slowly buries them in a grave of isolation, resentment, and anonymity. Emotional Labor reaches into the depths of the female soul and allows us to not only ask the question, “How can I ask for help?”, but provides women with the tools to discovery their own solution. This book is a must-read for all women.
— Amy Martinez, Esq, Estate and Succession Planning Amy E. Martinez, Esq., trust and probate litigation attorney at RMO LLP
This is an important and timely book. Regina Lark uses the power of stories to help us create a new way of operating in the world. As I read this incredibly insightful book, I recognized myself in these pages, and it was the first time I realized how much emotional labor I was carrying – always in the back of my mind and on my shoulders, weighing me down, just a little, over and over. This book gives us a window into how to live differently, and for me, now that I see how I’ve been working constantly without realizing it, I’m starting to change. Freedom for all of us lives in these pages, and I’m so grateful to Regina for sharing her wisdom, tools and stories with us.
— Tina Quinn Life & Leadership Coach
What a refreshing perspective to not only address the burden of emotional labor but to also provide the vocabulary and tools required to make meaningful progress on balancing the scales! Emotional labor is an ongoing, ever present topic of conversation among my girlfriends – and I am looking forward to the day when that is no longer true!
— Belle Walker, Founder, Belleview Consulting